The Aquarius [*] Toaster

by Kirsten Daleske

Oh, my, look.. We gotta talk about your breakfast, dude. Like, these Pop Tarts, they are like.. are really BAD for you. Totally fucks up your aura. Something in the icing, man.

Look, don't eat bagels either. See like the hole in the middle? That is SO not a positive shape. Totally un-feng shua. I mean, all your energy just DRAINS out the hole.

Toast? Ah naw. Wheat is terrible, man. Did cave-men eat wheat? Ah-um, I don't think so.

Look, before every meal, just ask yourself, would Jerry want me to eat this?



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